Going through a breakup is a very painful experience. You have to let go of all the hopes and dreams you had for the relationship. You also have to get over your ex, which can be difficult, especially if you have been together for a long time. So, it is totally normal to spend time mourning the loss. However, obsessing over your ex and living in the past will not help you move on. Fortunately, there are some steps you can take to help you get over them and speed up the healing process. Here’s how to get over your ex.
Go No Contact
Going no contact might seem too painful, but it’s the best way to begin the healing process. With social media, you can very easily keep up with what your ex is doing every day. You’ll know who they are hanging out with, where they spend their time, and also when they start dating again. It’s not healthy to obsess over their new life. Unfriend or block them for now. Delete their contact info in your phone and resist the urge to text or call. You may eventually be able to be friends again, but you need to heal first.
Now is not the time to lay around and wallow. It is time to get busy! Make sure you are making it to work every day and filling your time there. Take on projects and show up for meetings. After work, make the most of your time with the gym, hobbies, and friends. Step up your workout routine and try new classes. You can also start a new hobby that you never thought you had time for before. If you have the funds, plan a trip. Getting out of your home environment will help you focus on new things and treat yourself.
Surround Yourself with Loved Ones
If you have a good relationship with your family, rely on them to help you through. Family can take care of you when you don’t feel like making a meal or going shopping. If you don’t have family to rely on, ask your friends for help. Make dinner dates and coffee dates with people you may have lost touch with during your relationship. Plan a girls’ night or schedule a trip to the farmer’s market. Go for hikes, see movies, and just have fun! Your friends will help you feel loved when you might not feel like you are loved.
Make Plans for the Future
You may feel a little lost now that you no longer have your ex in your life. Take the time to make goals for yourself. What do you want to do? Is there a change you want to make in your career? Do you want to find a new relationship? Do you want to move, visit another country, or start investing? You don’t have to go all out and make a vision board, but you should sit down and seriously consider what you want in life. You may find that you can do more without your ex around.
Change Your Living Arrangements
If you lived with your ex, you may need to move. It is impossible not to be constantly reminded of them in the space you shared. Find a new apartment or house to rent, preferably in a different neighborhood. If you own your house, then you can make changes to help you heal. Get rid of their stuff and the things that remind you of them. Redecorate your space to your liking. Buy the drapes, pillows, and furniture that you like that your partner never wanted. This is your chance to make your space exactly how you like it.
If you have just gone through a break up, you may feel like your life is over. It is not! Just because a relationship didn’t work out does not mean that you are a failure. Every relationship can teach us about ourselves and others. Take the time to reflect on your relationship to learn what worked and what did not. Are there they things you can change about yourself? Do you know what you want in a partner now? This is a great opportunity to figure out what you want and need from a relationship, which leads us to your last step.
Start Dating Again
This step is last for a reason. It’s probably not a good idea to immediately begin dating after a big breakup. You need time to process what happened and work on yourself. That time will vary for everyone, but eventually you will want to date again. It’s the ultimate way to forget your ex. Plus, this is your chance to find someone who likes you for you. Have fun with this step! Don’t put pressure on yourself to find your new life partner eventually. Take things slow and enjoy the process. You are worth the time and effort!
Going through a break up is never fun. It’s a painful experience but it can also teach you a lot. Take a deep breath and use the steps listed above to help you move on. It may seem impossible at first, but you will want to date again and you will absolutely feel happy again. Time will help heal you, so be patient and focus on the future. You can do this!