You’ve just had some amazing sex. You’ve got a beaming glow and you’re buzzing like you’ve had a triple-shot latte. But then your man just flops over and falls asleep… Or checks his Twitter feed, or might even check the fridge. You’ve already fired up your foreplay and found the elusive G-spot, but should you be making ‘afterplay’ a priority? YES.
Sex therapist Christina Spaccavento says “For many people, sex isn’t just about physical release, but also about feeling connected and close to their lover. So for them afterplay is just as important as any other phase of sex.” Yep, the whole 9 yards, the cuddling/kissing/spooning/pillow talk kind of a thing that just drives people’s deep connections up the wall.
Research backs this up, too. A study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior explored the link between ‘post-sex affectionate behavior’ and sexual and relationship satisfaction. Being all lovey-dovey after sex was associated with higher satisfaction in both areas. The study also found couples who bumped up post-sex affection over the course of the study were more satisfied three months later.
“With your partner, deliberately set time aside to prolong afterplay, as it can be a great way to have time out from everyday stresses,” advises Spaccavento. “You can also use afterplay to talk about what you enjoyed and areas you want to explore.” Keep your notepad close by, just in case you need to jot a new position down.